A Writer's Guide to Overwriting: Speech Two

The second of my posts about writing dialogue...

If you are able to successfully navigate the pitfalls of tagging/attributing speech (see my confessions on the subject here), the next step is to make the dialogue itself work. This can be harder than it looks.

What annoys you about speech when reading? Too much? Too little? Ham-fisted attempts to write dialect/accents?

Some new writers try to avoid using speech because they're worried it will go wrong. But speech can often tell the reader in two lines what it takes a paragraph of prose to write. It breaks up long chunks of text, gives insight into character and helps the reader connect with the story. It's important.

Realism is where it gets tricky. Some writers write things that nobody would ever say. If you fancy having a go at doing that, you might like to try this sort of thing:

"Your sister's coming over for dinner tonight, Harry - the one with the philandering husband, two children and job in PR which she hates but is too afraid to quit in case she become a frumpy housewife. So I've made a casserole but I've had a really busy day so I haven't had time to peel the potatoes yet as my mother just called and her dog, Chi-Chi, who we took on holiday with us last year and you hate with your whole heart, is sick. Maybe you could go and get changed and then help me by laying the table in our Georgian terrace with a big garden out the back."

OK, an extreme example maybe, but the point is that speech is not the place to get in chunks of information you're afraid you'll leave out elsewhere. Nor does anybody talk for more than a couple of sentences without getting side-tracked or interrupted.

The opposite of this, is what I do - make it too real. Again, if you want to join in, consider writing something like this:

"Hi."
"Hi."
"You alright?"
"Yeah, you?"
"Yeah, I'm OK. Nice weather."
"Won't last though, will it. Never does."
"Nope. Ah, well. What can you do?"
"Yeah. So I've been meaning to ask you..."

Booooooooring! Yes, people might talk like this, but readers don't want to know. I'm not quite this bad at writing speech, but to make my speech work takes a lot of editing. I might not find I've written anything this boring, but I've often included lines of dialogue that just aren't necessary. This is particularly true when it comes to answering questions that have been posed at the end of the conversation.

"So I'll see you at eight tonight then, right?"
"Right."

Probably that entire bit of dialogue isn't necessary, but supposing that it was vital to ask the question, it still probably isn't vital to answer it, if the answer is just an affirmative like that. The scene could end with the question.

There are plenty of resources out there to help you practice writing dialogue - should you need it. So, as a definitely-not-expert, I will only offer two thoughts:

Thought one - if you read your dialogue out loud can you actually imagine somebody saying it?

Thought two - If you take any conversation or scene in your writing and removed the first or last lines, would the conversation still make sense? If so, cut them!

This last point is one that has finally begun to sink in with me. It works not only with speech, but with prose as well. My "first and last" editing rule is a variation on the old "don't show exits and entrances" rule. But that's something for another post...

Is your speech realistic enough, or too realistic? Or do you have/ have you heard a great tip for us on how to write scintillating speech? As a writer who is always trying to improve, any tips are welcome!

A Writer's Guide to Overwriting: Speech

Recently, I wrote about overwriting and underwriting. As an overwriter, if there's one place I could really go to town, it's in the minefield that is dialogue.

Dialogue is notoriously difficult to make realistic. Even after a few years of writing tonnes of the stuff, I am still capable of ruining a perfectly good story. If you're jealous of that ability, here's how you can do it too...

The mistakes you might like to try when writing speech include:

1. Being afraid of it.
2. Not being realistic.
3. Being too realistic.
4. Attributing or "tagging" inappropriately.

The first three of these I'll tackle some other time, because by far the easiest way for the beginner to overwrite is the fourth one. It's also one way that editors and agents separate amateurs from professionals (and potential professionals!)

Attribution/tagging is how a reader knows who's speaking. Some writers, like Stephanie Meyer, are great role-models for over-tagging dialogue. They can never write 'he said' when he can exclaim, whisper or expound instead. Yup, they know their synonyms and they are not afraid to use them. I heard a beautiful pastiche of Meyer on the radio once. It contained gems such as:

"What are you doing here?" she questioningly questioned.

In most cases tagging isn't necessary - a reader should be able to tell who's talking. But in those places where you do need to attribute speech to make it clearer, you can really go to town. In almost all circumstances the words 'said' or 'asked' will do just fine. But there's no need for the aspiring overwriter to stop there. You can allege, howl, wail, screech or whimper; yelp, affirm or bawl. Just so long as you don't mind making an editor vomit.

I'm not saying professional writers never use any other word. Variety is important - sometimes one of those synonyms can be necessary - it's just not as important as we might think. In fact, it's distracting. Use more than a handful of those synonyms, even across a whole novel, and you've successfully marked yourself down as an amateur. It should be obvious from the story whether your character is likely to be shouting, whispering or murmering their words with a wry smile.

The most offensive way to overwrite your speech tags is to use a word that isn't even a synonym for 'said' in the first place. 'Smile' and 'laugh' are popular with overwriters. For example, ' "I really like you," she laughed. "A lot." '

Note that it's perfectly possible for the passage to read, ' "I really like you," she said with a laugh. "A lot." ' Or even, ' "I really like you." She laughed. "A lot." ' But if you want to be an overwriter you must resist these options at all costs. And don't even start to question why you need to put the laugh in there in the first place, or you'll be in very great danger of making the dialogue substantially better.

So what's my top tip for overwriting? Well, I always say/ remark/ assert/ utter/ holler/ squawk/ whimper/ groan/ whisper/ hiss that a different synonym for every line of speech is about the best way of ruining dialogue there is. Just watch those agents' eyes roll and let the rejections flow!

Can you think of any more variation on 'said' that I can crowbar into my next story?